Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Stuck in a Rut

Despite the excitement of starting a new job I've been moody and completely unmotivated lately.  Maybe it is because I'm trying to read through a chapter on genetics, which I never liked in undergrad (I loved protein kinetics though, so awwwwesome).  Or because Day 2 of work just kinda dragged on because I had to take apart ancient raggedy and thick charts with one hand and reorganize them into newer folders.  Slooow going with only one hand.  Or because I almost slipped today and while normally I would have gone about my business, the sudden movement was painful and I'm feeling pretty sore despite being pain-free all last week.   It reminded me all that even if the sling comes off next week, I still have a lot of healing to do.

I think a lot of my grumpiness comes from feeling restless.  My mom is the nagging, overbearing type and while it's an endearing trait when I was only home on weekends and holidays, it's not so endearing when I experience it all day.  I also haven't seen any friends for almost a month so I've been pretty mopey today because of that.  I'm restless from being unable to do things that I used to do without thinking, like pouring milk for my cereal, or having trouble unplugging things.  I was always the kid that wanted to walk home alone and do stuff by myself "like all the big kids."  (My parents never let me walk home alone.  We used to live on a busy intersection with car accidents every year and one day I came home from school to a huge, bloody accident.)  It's frustrating, but I signed up for this.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a good work day.  I'll be at the senior home meeting the patients I'll be translating for 3/5 days a week.  I can familiarize myself with their chronic pain issues, make sure I know all the terms and I'll be able to do something that none of the other staff can do, which might be refreshing.

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