Sunday, July 1, 2012

Stress...and Eating

I don't know what's going on with me these days, but I have been extremely on edge. Part of it is that unending nagging thought of "shitshitshit it's July I gotta get my app submitted shitshitshit" while the other part just felt like everything that could go wrong went wrong last week.

I'm still editing my Personal Statement. There are still rough spots to smooth over, but I think that the current flow/narrative I have now is good. Almost. I said that for all the other versions though. Surprisingly, I'm having the most trouble talking about my AmeriCorps year. Everything is still fresh, so I thought it would be easy, but it isn't. I also did a lot in a sifting through all those experiences and distill it down to one representative "ah-ha" moment is hard. But I am getting sick of working on it. The level of stress that comes from this is going to be standard throughout the year, though. With secondaries and (hopefully) interviews, it won't get any better.

That alone isn't bad, if I didn't also have to deal with work. I'm wondering if it's a character flaw in myself. But when I describe certain events to close friends, some of them have said things like "I'm surprised you're still there" and "You really need to get out" and "It's definitely not you, because my boss is like that too and I hate my boss." Also, I tend to break out when stress gets really bad, which sucks. I think it's a sign that I need more gym time. If I have energy to be irritated then I should use that energy to run and be productive. I'm hoping that once I'm back in school, doing something I've always wanted to do, things may get better.

I was pretty cranky on Friday, the result of having left my phone AND my work files (which contain patient info*) at one of the senior homes on Thursday. The first thing I did was rush back there in the morning before work, but of course by then my phone was gone aka stolen. The upside is that I don't store important info in it and it's not a smart phone. I got to work late (my fault for missing the bus) and found out my coworker was also late, and had to deal with over-anxious patients and residency staff talking at me and asking (in two languages, no less) about their appointments and pointedly ignoring my "I don't know, I have to check." I really, really wish people would calm down about these things. I've worked with large groups of children for years, and am generally used to being talked at by multiple kids at once, so I don't know why having adults do the same thing to me annoys me but it did.

Thank goodness for weekends. I've been pointedly ignoring another pre-med friend's questions about my app process (really? we don't talk for months and the first thing you ask is about my app?) and unwinding over the weekend. I met up with my friend for some okonomiyaki and after that, we had some sake cocktails and sangria. The sangria tasted like juice, but clearly it wasn't juice, because two hours went by before we realized that two hours had gone by. I think I've reached that point where I don't get carded anymore :( It's probably for the driver's license picture has me looking like I'm lining up for a mug shot. I'm glad I get Wednesday off too, for July 4th weekend. More time for my app! Yay!!

Okonomiyaki. Photo from Izumiya's page
Egg over soba noodles over a Japanese savory pancake with calamari cooked into the batter. 

*I don't think I'm supposed to be carrying patient charts around....... =[


  1. Oh Lord! I definitely live in the wrong country. Where do I go to get some of this?!!!! What is it? Okonomiyaki. I will be scouring Melbourne to find some.

    1. It's a savory pancake. You can't see the pancake under all those noodles but I guarantee it's there :P You can make it yourself too! I would recommend buying the Okonomiyaki Flour (which, if there are no Asian grocers in your area that carry it, you can probably buy online). Those tend to come pre-mixed with flour and the seasonings that gives it the savory flavors, otherwise it just tastes like a regular breakfast pancake.