October has been a rough month. Thank you for the words of support regarding my grandma's passing.
I had a lot on my plate in October, and it didn't help that I was struggling to maintain my self-esteem as a student. I am wondering if maybe I just need more time to adjust to studying again. I've been out of school for four years, and maybe I am no longer used to memorizing information as quickly because I am out of practice. I was very depressed because I only barely passed our first exam, and the only reason I did better during the second exam was because my cadaver lab practical exam score boosted up my total test score significantly. I really liked dissection though. I thought it was interesting to see all this variation in different bodies, and even though dissection takes out 3-4 hours of my day, once I find something, I will know it forever.
I think my physical exam workshop instructor picked up on the fact that I was kind of mopey and offered his time to talk about M1 year and to talk about his current M3/M4 students. I think I'll take him up on that offer, just to gain some perspective from someone who's been through that experience and now works with students.
Some things I need to work on: improving my life balance. I'm fixing my sleep schedule now. I also need to get off my butt and get back to running, buy a gym membership, or do exercise videos at home. I may just settle for doing Insanity at home until the rain lets up, then try jogging again before it snows. I want to buy a gym membership but I'm reluctant to enroll because I'm trying to be frugal. I'm finding it hard to read ahead of class. If I'm lucky, I finish one set of reading before one of my classes, but I've never pre-read for all of the next day's classes.
There have been moments when things are good. One of my classmates realized that we've been very isolated this past month due to our study habits and went out for hot cocoa one night. We had our lab practical and multiple choice test on the same day, and I didn't feel like cramming last-minute information into my brain (although I probably should have). Instead, I made pumpkin pancakes (from a box mix, but still good). It's hard to make pancakes and eggs on a stainless steel skillet without burning it...but I did it. I forgot to buy maple syrup, but I had fancy honey and it was just as good, maybe even better than maple syrup.
Also, it's my first time being in the midwest, so I got to experience a real autumn.
Now all the trees are naked and I track leaves indoors every time I come home.