Trouble with Kids

The thing with working with kids is that I probably see this kids much more often than any parent or teacher does in a day at this age. I see all their quirks, their bad habits, their behavioral issues, and hear about all their pre-teen drama because I see them in a space when they are the most relaxed - talking with friends in a classroom. The most frustrating part is when I work with a girl with some type of behavioral/psychological issue that I don't have the training to tackle. Something is really off with one of my students, P, and I don't think the school social worker is equipped to handle her either. I'm not a psych person, but I've worked with kids for so long that I can identify behavior that is a-typical for an age group. It's intuitive now, even if I can't label it with the appropriate terminology.

Most kids outgrow their Disneyland phase by middle school (at least until they go to college in LA, then they buy season passes), but P had an unusual obsession with Disney princesses. At this age, kids either become really serious about what they want to be (my studious kids want to be doctors-AH! SO CUTE!), or aren't thinking about it at all. Until now, I've only ever had five year old girls tell me they want to be Disney princesses.

P also has paranoia issues. In middle school, some kids will walk past an open door and make faces because that's what kids do. No matter how much I try to reassure her, P thinks it's directed at her. Last year, P also became obsessed with one of our program volunteers, a high school kid and former program participant. P freaked out that he knew her name (he probably learned it by listening to one of us talk to her) and then somehow this developed into a crush. But then, P noticed him talking to another female staff member, and thought they were flirting and was "weirded out." P confided that to me, and I thought nothing of it, but then she would bring it up every day for weeks and weeks.

I was starting to get worried, and started documenting everything and telling my supervisor as well. Other children started finding out as well, even though P promised not to tell anyone ("Oh but, I only told M, and he promised not to tell anyone"). The worst thing would be for someone to accuse an innocent coworker of child abuse. The school social worker was informed, who set up meetings with P and a group meeting with P and my colleague. Eventually, P figured out that I reported this to the bosses, and asked me why. I tried to explain in the simplest way possible that she was telling everyone a story that could be misunderstood and could get staff members in trouble.

"Oh but I only told M and he promised not to tell anyone."
"Yeah, but now G came up to me and told me about it, and so did N. Who told them, then?"

Now I've noticed that she remembers the gist of what I say, but has a tendency to twist my words around.

"Last time, you said that Ms. S would be arrested."
"Uh...No. I said the program and all the staff could get in trouble with [our parent organization].

It seems like a benign rewording, except whatever P repeats sounds way worse than what was said to her, and could potentially cause further misunderstandings down the road. Now, I'm worried that she'll eventually learn that this could be used as a tool to manipulate people.

I really think she should be evaluated by a mental health professional. Someone that is trained and licensed to provide the counseling or other course of action that she needs. I know that P's parents were brought into a meeting, but I think they're in denial that P has some real issue and the social worker isn't emphasizing the problem enough. The sad thing is, P is also a low-priority case.

In the beginning, I tried to be sympathetic with P and listen. I wanted to be supportive, but it was driving me crazy. I also don't think that being sympathetic is effective or advisable anymore, because it just encourages her behavior. Sometimes, I shut her down immediately: "P, you are being very rude by talking to me about so-and-so behind their backs. You do this all the time. If you have a problem, talk to them directly. You're talking about my coworkers/students behind their backs and I don't like that. You need to learn to talk to people directly."

I still want to tear my hair out though, some days.

A Late Interview Season

I admit it, I lost the motivation to blog for a while.
Just wanted to get my secondaries in (did that).
Then I had to complete my D.O. secondaries (did that too).
The end of last year was just a blur. I have no memory of *anything.*

"Turned down from an interview-invite? When did I apply here???"

I had given up on getting interviews. I was in a really bad zone of negativity and kept away from most people beyond superficial online correspondence with friends via Facebook. And then one interview invite drifted in at the end of December for late February. Then another in January, and now all of a sudden I have 5 scheduled this month.

A really long, long-distance-relationship came to an end at the beginning of the year. At that time, I kept thinking I should be upset about it, and I was to a certain extent, but then I realized that I had already given up on making things work. And then my interview invites started to flow in, and I had other things to worry about, like travel arrangements and preparing for interviews. That's probably one reason why things would have never worked out between us. The fact that I can push aside personal issues to focus on the task at hand without thinking about it too much. Another reason is perhaps that, outside of professional settings, I'm not good at compromising.

I had my first interview this past Monday at a DO school. I left with a great impression of the school and the environment. I left with the sense that I did okay, despite this being my first interview, despite it being a group interview. I was able to think on my feet, not ramble too much, and stick to my points, even if I didn't respond to follow-up questions as smoothly or concisely as I would have wanted. They really grilled me about the DO vs. MD route, even though I wasn't the only one who had not shadowed a DO. It wasn't a scenario I was unprepared for, but some of the wording of their questions threw me off and might have made me second guess myself, so next time I'll have to keep that in mind.

Afterwards, they kept me back to ask me two questions, which was scary. They asked why I decided to retake the MCAT, despite having a good score (Honestly, I never considered the percentile measure..only that I wanted to do better), and presented a scenario. Possibly to gauge my leadership ability in responding to a conflict. It wasn't tough per se. I remembered to pause and think about my answer, but I did leave thinking, "Dammit! I should have said that toooooo."

I also discovered one of my interviewers, the anatomy instructor, had observed an bypass surgery with the same cardiothoracic surgeon that I had observed. I was really excited to talk about that, because it was such an awesome thing to watch, and found out that my interviewer was actually able to scrub in. I'm glad I wasn't the only person to have felt giddy and excited during (and even after) that experience.

I'm happy to have made it this far, whatever happens. Trying not to think about my hemorrhaging wallet too much. Whatever happens, I've booked a 5-day vacation for myself over 4th of July weekend to visit Austin, Texas and it will be an opportunity to celebrate or get over the whole thing.

I Liiiiiiiiive

The last few weeks were rough, one of those times when all hell breaks loose and it's all you can do not to go crazy.  To top it all off, I narrowly avoided getting a cold only to get strep throat.  I felt like everything was distracting me from what's most important, which is studying for my MCAT in March (**** so screwed) and making me feel insanely guilty and unhealthily worthless.  Even worse, I was craving another cheesesteak sandwich all week and I couldn't eat one because I could barely swallow my penicillin.  Nnnoooooooooooooooo.  

I took a day off work to recuperate, made myself a study calendar, did practice problems, and spent another several hours playing shooting games to cheer myself up, and now feel somewhat better.  At least, I'm back on track studying.  I'm trying to figure out how to re-integrate the gym.  Since I'm trying to be hardcore about studying, I may just have to park my butt on a bicycle and read, because reading while running on treadmills is very difficult.  

Last Monday was Lunar New Year which means RED ENVELOPE MONEY!!!!!  YEAAAAAH.  It's customary for married people in the family/extended family to give the kids and unmarried losers in the family red envelopes for good luck.  Which means I get money yeaaaaaaaah.  Although, my cousin still hasn't given me or my sister a red envelop ever since he got married in 2008.  Hrmph!  It's not really a big deal, or a lot of money to begin with, but still!  Anyway, I have a habit of not spending any of these.  The last time I used some of my red envelop money was in middle school, when I bought Pokemon cards (wtf?).  I also have a habit of hiding them so well that I forget where I hid them...

This week there are two Lunar New Year parties going on at the senior home.  The residents organized the first one on their own, and the one on Friday will be organized by the staff.  I'm looking forward to the Friday party because the staff managed to get the police department to perform the lion dance.  My secret wish growing up was to join a lion dance group and learn how to perform, but knowing my build, I would end up being the butt, and no kid will enthusiastically say to their friends, "Hey! Watch me perform tomorrow!  I'm gonna be the lion butt!"

Year of the Dragon! 

Unfortunately, I have a patient during part of the show, but maaaaybe they'll still be performing when we're done.